Dear friend; 

This was a hard week saying goodbyes to you nick. The legacy you leave is greater than your time here on earth. The love and impact on all you connected with was such a blessing. The resemblance of your smile, will live on in those adorable children’s smiles forever because Forgetting you will be impossible and that comforts my sorrow right now. 
I will look up and smile at the stars for the time you were given and watch the birds soar free with grace, knowing your pain is forever gone. I will always hold my pockets aces tight and smile, remembering all the card games you guys taught me. I wish the deck wasn’t stacked against you and jess so often lately. You fought hard and most importantly; you did it together as a family.

A love story that had to end way to soon but a beautiful one nonetheless, each mountain the two of climbed or prognosis you were given you both took in stride. I just wish you two could have found each other sooner and loved each other a little longer. Xo 

Saturday Nights 

I got addicted to you so easily. Why? 

Two long weeks ago, we raced from the back with 12 laps to go and preformed amazing. Obviously, Knocking on our only competitions door ” #ontheloudpeddle ” 

This excitement had me on a high from the adrenaline, freedom, summer, changes and fun. Oh, but I also became Vodka Bre by stepping out side the safety bubble and got my mind blown. 

I am looking forward to some new adventures of this wonderlust 2017; I am creating and navigating. Some detours and flight plan edits but hell … I got this with an open mind and my navigational beacon. 

Mirror Mirror…. 

Found Andees album this week.  

This week thou, total chaos within. I am writing to get it out,  before I head out on the town and feed my deviant delusional soul with bullshit and vodka. 

The taste from the bottle of bad decisions was the coping skill to get me through. Each sip tasted and went down smooth like Boston; he was so full of endless possibilities, adventures and excitiment. Untill reality came outta left field. 

I went along for the ride, the distraction and the adventure.. obviously. Flirting with disaster at each pour, each choice and bad decision. Comforting the chaos swirling inside my mind and body. Questions and truths … just left unanswered. 

Then the party ends and you have to find your sun glasses first, then phone, water, Advil and belongings. The aftermath of the dreadful hangover.. which looms around you all day. You regret your decisions and reflect with either laughter or shame. Was it or would it be worth it again?! 

I am praying to stand on top of the trailer tonight and find peace. I will be ok, if it doesn’t rain out, and the one thing I focused on this week .. finally gets here. The competition, power, heats , rivals and race goes our way. Finding our way to the front and in position to perform a show. #ontheloudpeddle 

Ohh no but why?! 

Dear Boston, 

Jeeze.. You’re married ?! Well this change of events was unfortunate… I was just getting started to know you and was enjoying your life. Such a breath of fresh air and it was such a nice feeling to smile hours after our conversations. 

I have some many questions and no answers. I feel like a horrible human and didn’t even do anything….. that’s the hard part I guess . 

You were not wearing a ring?……. right! Why give your number out?! The .. can I ask you something… is Fucking with my brain. Where you going to be honest with me, what did you want to know?. There is this hope inside of me you where about to be honest  … because I totally feel that you’re a good soul and I’d rather remember you that way . Where you Happily married, in turmoil or what?! Children ? Just wish you were honest , I could have helped instead of hindered you. Could I have ? FACK… 

Not that I am entitled to any answers now and Not that this was going to go anywhere but still I totally wanted Boston in my life 

I imagine life is chaos now and I am sorry that I caused it … can’t hope for anything but peace for you and my brain. 

Blind sided that’s for sure! 

Boo, 🇨🇦

I will survive;It’s Race day 🏁

A sense of home and a warmth to my soul is on the horizon my friends. I made it another winter, so wake me up when September ends! 

I have a new #ontheloudpeddle & #Larrysback. It’s never easy starting a season with out you and a team …. I watch build their machinery over the off season. However, I have a home and a place where  I belong. This I am grateful for. 

May your day be glorious and warm your souls .. the way the sound of motors will for me today. Foster theme song

Ignition switch 

Well today I was up in the Cessna for 2 hours. I was rusty and so nervous but after take off and relaxing 😎… I found my grove! 

My desires to fly are true but my fear of the responsibilities are overwhelming. I struggled to sleep, to eat and to go for gold! I said no to landing again… I just couldn’t first flight up for the season! 

I enrolled for ground school again, keep that theory fresh! 

Dear Boston 

Well, I needed that! 

I am so lost in life right now and I enjoyed your smile and conversation. Thanks for just being you and fun for an evening! I needed to be devoured and tossed around. I have never done this, nice to know There are gentlemen left in this world but they are from Boston! Dam 

Cheers 🍻 , 🇨🇦